Wednesday, May 26, 2004

My dad called this morning to say that he wanna cancel the order for tat new car. Cialat, man! Who's going to be the one to make the arrangements? Me! If not for that $1k deposit, I wouldn't be so worried. $1k, man! I hope it won't be forfeited...
Apparently...This offer may not be a good one after all..I dunno, man! I wonder if all this idea bout' gettin a car is a good one...Hmmfp! :P

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

oh ya, forgot to mention. watched this pretty disturbing movie, ELEPHANT partially fictitious (but based on actual happening)of 2 teens involved in school shooting(READ: Columbine High School). Freaks me out, man, how the 2 guys calmly walk around school in full ammo(READ:sawed-off shotgun,Hi-Point semiautomatic rifle & bombs)They actually start the spree with these 2 words in mind, "Have fun". Freaky...
The cinematography is gorgeous, the direction superb.Gus Van Sant..whatdoyya expect? (Hello, winner of the Palme D'or award, Cannes 2003) The layout of the whole movie is similar to that of 21 GRAMS, where various scenes are segregated and rearranged, like an undone jigsaw puzzle. What is different bout' Elephant is that each scene is further broken down into various angles, focusing on different characters, each time. Interesting. So intriguing...

Monday, May 24, 2004

Wanna write this is yest. but too tired, liao. Slept late after watching Winter Sonata(yar..yar..I watch THAT). Then have to wake up darn early-5.30 am to be exact. For what? Big Walk. My 1st eva. Then after that, I dun even manage to take a proper rest & my parents make me get ready to go to a wedding. At Marsling..Sigh...
Then came the biggest surprise of all. Still reeling from it, in fact. We saw a car showcae in Causeway point. Being the curious being that I was, I snoop around the cars. I was realli interested in this particular model which actually resemble a station wagon(the pic. above). Super-spacious interior. Then this guy came over (the car salesman) and tol' us that under the promotion they're having, we'll get 5k to pay for the insurance & tax..Just like that(I wonder what the actual draw is..)Both my parents & myself actually sat down and listen to him yak bout' e promotion(which ends on tat dae).Guess what? We bought a car..Yes..a real car. Kia Rio 1.5 Hatchback Auto. A real car. To think that hours before, all this was never even on our mind. Oh ya...I put it under my bro's name(cheaper insurance)..Both my mom & myself decided to go for my dad's choice of silver(he's the patriach after all). My mom wanted blueberry (hee..) I wanted black. Both my dad & myself are the guarantors. I will have to be one of the monthly payees...There goes my travel plans...!  Posted by Hello

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Wherever this place is, it's gorgeous...Can anybody enlighten me as to where it is. I got it in an email labelled 'Koh Kood' @ Thailand. I checked..It's not there. So..where??
PS: the timing you see here is right..It's Singapore time. It's juz me who can't sleep..Sigh..Sure get another heeadache tomorrow. Ish...! Posted by Hello

This is the group that I went with for my scuba diving course @ Pulau Dayang, M'sia (taken on 11042004). Dun' everyone looks so tanned? As for me...Good luck on looking fair again, girl... Posted by Hello
My pics from this trip: PULAU DAYANG

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Many peeps haf been bugging me to get into friendster..Seriously, i neva bother to find out wat the fuss is all abt. When I finally got in dare...hmm...Interesting website, i'd sae. Turns out quite a number of friends are actually dare...Should have got in earlier...Stubborn me.
Niwae...Juz look for me thru' my email or my name there is: bAyYa
To view more of my compilations, it's @ DIARYLAND...


What is boredom?
When does boredom
becomes an asset
and when does boredom
becomes a...bore?
Your body wants to rest,
your eyes ask for sleep.
But your mind starts to wander
and the ideas spilled over.
Words you never think of.
Sentences you've never seen.
It all runs through,
from your mind, to your pen
and onto any paper you see.

Soon you begin to wonder,
"Is that really me?"
Cos' you never know,
what an asset boredom can be.
But then again,
boredom can be such a...bore
You must be wondering...what is this crap? Yeah, I ask myself that over and over(till now)...Come to think of it, I must be THAT bored, huh? What actually drive me to tell this is because I was so frustrated..
Do you like doodling? Ever doodle something because you are juz sooo bored and you see what you've doodled and wish that you could have done that on a more decent surface? Like when you finally got the puuurfect look for your still life or that cute little border for your artpiece and realized that you've drawn that on the surface of your school desk and there is juz NO way of retrieving that design??? Sigh...I hate that.
That doesn't happen to me only once...Lotsa' times, actually. Not just doodles...Poems, lyrics, even important names and phone numbers (which you finally managed to recall) that happened to be written on scrappy pieces of dirty serviettes, torn and crumpled receipts etc...Which all end up in the bin before you even realized that you have not transferred that info somewhere better. By then, it's in some bin, somewhere..nowhere...Darn.
That's what I mean, when you are bored you naturally come up with the greatest of all ideas(ever!)....Unconsciously. Next time you doodle something...check it out before you trash that piece of serviette/receipt..You never know what work-of-art you might have created there. You never know if a movie producer actually stumbled upon your piece of scrap and developed the idea into a multi-million grossing movie..Your loss, baby...

Saturday, May 01, 2004


I peered through the darkness,
searching for a glimpse of light.
Hoping for something to shield me,
from what lurks nearby.

I picked up the pieces
and try to move on.
But something, somehow,
is pushing me down.

Try as I might,
I want to push it away,
but it is pinning me down,
and all my hopes seem to fray.

Hopelessness sweeps me to the edge
and dread slowly falls into place.
I stay from where I fail to move,
waiting, anticipating. . . .
It's 2+ AM...Why in the world can't I sleep??? Fine...Maybe this shall be my final post this morning(gosh, my neighbourhood is already super-dark) before I retire..yar..yar...
The above poem was supposed to be a song...My bro has been bugging me for a! Secretly, I tried. He's into black metal. This song will change the genre to lame metal. Linkin Park and Staind calibre, maybe but nowhere near the likes of Dark Funeral or Emperor..whichever.
That's why this this thing remain in my personal collection(I never showed this to him anyway). The original version is in the verse-bridge-chorus-solo form but it looks better when converted into a poem.
Don't bother asking why my poems are all so sombre and moody. i personally have no idea. Maybe I was kinda' pissed or down. Maybe I write all these to release my frustration. Whatever it it, this method sure worked cos' I've forgotten why I'm down back then. You guys should try it sometime...Great therapy.

I stay in the corner,
fearing to breathe.
As my tormentors walk past,
failing to notice-
the little, scrawny me,
the butt of every jokes.
My silent tears unseen,
my loudest cries unheard.
My outstretched arms unreached,
my many steps forgotten.
If I'm ignored,
I'll be very alone.
No one will come by,
no one to offer their help.
After all, I'm just me.
The untouchable-
little, scrawny me.
Y'all must be wondering, "What is this girl up to?"...Actually, when I start to write the above poem, I had no idea...Little did I know that it is going to be the start of more to come. I actually have more of these stuff but they disappear along with my other files after my dear ol' computer gave up on me. And that actually include my school projects. *sob..sob... Yar..yar..I noe, I'm supposed to have expected such things to happen..Back-ups..blah blah...Whatever.
Where was I? Oh, yah, that poem was the first serious one back then and I put it up on 2 weeks later, I receive a registered mail from the US, courtesy of saying that my poem has been selected for their coffee-book edition. Huh? I did a double-take and true enough, they are indeed compiling poems for their book. 2 others were selected too. By the 3rd letter, I lost all my excitement. The book is ex-, man. US$50++.. Thats almost S$100..Aiyoh..Not to mention the courier charges... I'd rather go travelling(well that's another storeee)....
I got a mail from them last month to go to the "Poet's Convention" at Washington D.C. No way, man! At my own expense, juz to read my poem in front of others? To get someone to read my poem, I have to pay a certain amount..Ish..Money sure talk, doesn't it?...fuhgettabouit!

Whoa..Finally a personal blog/website..Where I can compile my thoughts, poems & pics...Really, to manage 3 different accounts at 3 different sites ain't easy...Bless this...
Previously, ppl who think of seeing my 'website' will only get directed to Diaryland(no pictures allowed).com. To see pics, they have to go to webshots(pictures only).com.
Here, this will be a one-stop centre for me(or them). Cool!